“You’re Killin’ Me Smalls”

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Life is getting super hectic around here and not so routine.

Since going back to work at the end of February, there have been a ton of ups and downs when it comes to having a set schedule. I went back to work, had to take a class that involved learning about transitioning out of the military, going back on leave for a couple weeks, then back to work. For me, consistency AND routine is key to me staying sane.

Oh man, it’s going to be hard for me when I am no longer in the Navy and I become a stay-at-home mom!! There’s no way I’m going to be able to come up with some sort of routine while I have two little ones at home! I mean, I came face to face with that realization while I was on maternity leave for about 18 weeks. But I figured it was just because I had a new baby at home…I could be very wrong. It could simple be because I have two littles to take care of instead of one! Not only that, I have never been a SAHM, yet, so I know things will change once I realize I am not going back to work.

b29b217c-2bfe-40c5-911b-53a532ca0764 "You're Killin' Me Smalls"
One of the things that might keep me a little more sane is the fact that I am realling starting to get into writing again. I have a few projects lined up for me that I plan to take on and hopefully excel in. Maybe writing will be something I can set up as a schedule? Maybe post at the same time every week. Post two times a week? It’s definitely something I can look into.

I just want to make sure I don’t go crazy while I am transitioning from the working/military mom to the stay at home mom life. I am not going to sit here and thing life is going to be a breeze. I know there will be hard times. As much as I loved working, I hated being away from my kids. As much as I hate being away from my kids, working was a nice break sometimes. There are some mothers that totally ROCK at either one of these lifestyles and I am just not one of them. Who knows, I might end up going out and getting another job down the line. It could be something I am totally passionate about. But in the meantime, I am good with staying at home with my babies.

On another note, I thought I would mention these adorable shirts (and onesie) that we are wearing! It’s not everyday that we get to be matching, happy, and clean all at the same time! Well, my daughter wasn’t overly happy but she wasn’t crying, so there’s that! Anyway, these are totally adorable and I loved that we could match, without looking exactly the same. Plus, it’s quite comical. In case you don’t know where this is from, let me help you out.

If you haven’t seen this movie….go find it and watch it. This movie coined that phrase and thanks to moms all over, we have been able to turn this phrase into a #momlife slogan. And we love it.

My friend Heather created these and she’s starting to create more for her shop and it’s so exciting. She hasn’t yet released THIS option but I am excited to share it with everyone. Heather is also an amazing photographer (she didn’t take THESE photos but she’s done a bit of photography for our family in the past) so be sure to check out her photography and all of her other work!!

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b29b217c-2bfe-40c5-911b-53a532ca0764 "You're Killin' Me Smalls"

b29b217c-2bfe-40c5-911b-53a532ca0764 "You're Killin' Me Smalls"b29b217c-2bfe-40c5-911b-53a532ca0764 "You're Killin' Me Smalls"

b29b217c-2bfe-40c5-911b-53a532ca0764 "You're Killin' Me Smalls"

Being a Boy Mom

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I may have only been a boy mom (mom in general) for about 15 months but I totally love it!

It’s hard to believe that this time, two years ago, we were getting ready to be out at sea and I would later find out I was pregnant. During my first pregnancy with Aston, I wanted a girl. I have no shame in saying it! It’s the truth. But that was at first. Growing up, I always wanted a girl first if I had kids. I grew up with a sister, I was the oldest, and my cousins that were around my age were all girls. It just made sense to me. Either way, I just wanted a healthy and happy baby. When I found out we were having a boy, my husband about jumped out of his seat. My first thought was,

‘What am I going to do with a boy?!’

I think that is totally normal for anyone who doesn’t have much experience with boys. I’ve never even babysat for baby boys before! But I seriously went into a little bit of a panic mode. I told my husband that I wasn’t ready for a boy. I came up with so many questions:

How do I dress a boy?
How do I change a boys’ diaper?
How am I going to potty train a boy?!

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And many more as I am sure you can imagine. But eventually, as I was buying things for him and for the nursery, I became more at ease and of course, excitement overwhelmed me. And now, having been a mom for the past year, I just love being a boy mom. And I wonder, what will it be like if I find out I am having a girl in a few weeks? We shall save those thoughts for a later date.

But I have compiled a small list of things I love about being a boy mom. I am SURE many of these things are fairly similar with little girls, but what do I know? I have a boy. 😉

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  1. I never have to put him in pink.

I know, you never HAVE to put a girl in pink or anything, that’s not what I am implying here. But I just love that at the baby shower, I didn’t receive a million pink things or have to return things because of the color. I made a point to tell people not to give us anything with that baby blue color. Bright blues, navy blue, dark blue….anything but baby blue. I am just not a fan. And I don’t like pink like that either. I am sure if I have a girl, I will change my mind. But for now, I am glad it’s blues and other things.

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2. There really isn’t much accessorizing.

I mean, if he wants to go ahead and wear fancy bows in his hair, that’s fine by me. But for the first year, I am pretty sure he doesn’t have much of a preference besides, “Get this thing off of my head.” And that goes for hats or anything else. But I don’t need to put anything on him. Hats sometimes are cool. I think some moms put bows or headbands on their little girls because people can’t tell if their baby is a boy or girl. Hey, some can’t it happens. We have gotten she occasional, “She’s so cute” but it never bothered me…except when he’s decked out in all blue in a shirt that says, “Dad’s little dude” or something like that. Come on. Maybe some moms actually like the bows and headbands! Again, I will have no idea until I have one for myself but for now, I will enjoy keeping it simple.

“Get this thing off my head.”

3. His clothes are simple.

Onesie or shirt. Pants. Shoes. Done. Okay, it’s not that different from girls but I guess it all comes down to preference! Some people put their girls in a dress and they’re good to go, so that could be simple enough. But then there’s leggings or tights and back to the hair bows. And I guess with boys you can add bowties and suspenders, but I can keep it super simple with Aston.

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4. I am the only girl he will ever love…for now.

I get to enjoy the fact that my little baby loves his Mommy so much. No other women in the world is going to love him like I do and he won’t look at anyone like he looks at his mommy! I feel pretty awesome when he comes running to me with open arms and a huge open mouth kiss. Yeah, we’re working on the whole kissy face thing.

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5. Cars, balls, trains, turtles, etc.

These are the kinds of toys he loves to play with. Again, no pink and nothing super fancy. I mean, at this stage he’s just throwing a lot of his toys around anyway but I love that we can play catch (more like fetch) together and he has a grand old time. And he loves playing outside. I was the kid that hated being outside and hated getting dirty…but this kid is adorable and loves playing in the dirt. And I really don’t mind it all that much! Put him in a diaper and no clothes and he’s good to go!

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6. I’m the only girl.

Hey, it sounds a little selfish but I really like the idea of being truly the only girl around. Like before, I mentioned that I am the only girl he loves right now…but I also like that I get to be the girly one. My husband and my son’s attention is on THIS pretty girl in the room! Ha! I don’t know how to explain it really, but it’s nice being the only one. Plus, when I am trying to get ready, I don’t have to share with anyone. Oh man, if I have a girl this time around, I can only imagine the teenage years! And if she’s anything like me, I am really in for it!

7. Their clothes really do have the cutest sayings on them.

Many of the shirts and onesies you find for a boy could work for a girl too. And yes, all the frill is great for a girl. But if you’re not into frill…and you see some dinosaur eating a cookie while drinking milk…that’s just super freaking cute! I love the Mama’s boy ones or the Dad’s little guy. I just love that stuff.

8. Diaper changes.

You can wipe up, down, side to side….doesn’t matter. No worries. As long as the poo is gone.

9. “Boys will be boys.”

You totally understand that saying when you become a mom. I mean, he’s only one but he does such silly things that I couldn’t see a little girl doing. Then again, we will just have to wait and see. But things like picking his nose and discovering his…ahem…penis. I can’t help but laugh when he does these things!! I probably shouldn’t laugh. He probably does it more because I laugh at him.

The bottom line really is: I love being a mom. And I love being pregnant with my next bundle of love. in about 2 weeks we find out what we are having and it’s going to be fantastic. And it doesn’t matter, boy or girl, I am sure I will have posts about how different it is to raise another baby. <3

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To The Mommy of a 1-Year Old

13151501_10206151479938253_4589970671008760466_n To The Mommy of a 1-Year Old

Dear Mommy of a 1-Year Old,

You did it.

Didn’t think you’d make it this far with all of your hair still, huh? Well, you did and you are fantastic.

The first year of anything you do in life isn’t easy. And the first year is definitely a rough one. Then again, we have the rest of our lives with our children and I am sure there are many more years to go that could be just as trying as the first!

But hey, you did it. You ROCKED being a mommy.

You made it through those sleepless nights.
You learned not to wake a sleeping baby.
You figured out the difference between a hungry cry and a sleepy cry.
You have a new outlook on life.
You figured out that being a mom is hard work…
and it’s the best thing you’ve ever done with your life.
You realized that you don’t care about what others think about you…
– your clothes
– your hair
– your parenting style
You figured out that there are more things to think about and none of them are for you.
You figured out that you are much stronger than you know.

Many people told you what it was going to be like having a baby. They told you the pros and the cons and well, a lot of times they left out the really juicy stuff that you wish you had known. But you, you learned that every child is different and you did everything you could to make sure you kept your sanity and kept your bundle of joy safe and happy.

Moms talked to you about topics like (some more controversial than others):
Breastfeeding vs formula feeding
Circumcised or not
Cloth diapers vs disposable
Binky (paci/nook) vs not using one
Babywearing or stroller usage
vax, delayed, or nonvax
and so much more.

It’s all a mess sometimes but everyone parents differently. Everyone makes their own decisions based off of what they believe is right and what works for the family. And you did exactly that.

Good for you, mama! Keep doing what you’re doing.

And now your baby is 1 and it’s a huge step. Don’t worry about where they are.

If they’re walking now, great. If not, that’s great too. Some people want fast movers and some enjoy the immobility for as long as possible.
So, they’re not talking yet, it’s okay. They will, when they are ready.
That first birthday party? It doesn’t have to be extravagant. You don’t have to stress about the theme, the decorations, or who is coming. You can if you want, but your child will not remember it. It’s all for you guys anyway. And a little thing I must add: Really, don’t worry about who is invited.

We had a huge issue with people getting upset with us for not inviting them to our son’s first birthday party. Grown adults whining about not coming to a 1 year old’s party. The thing is, last minute, we decided to have the party at home. Our home is tiny and there wasn’t tons of room for children and tons of adults and we didn’t have the funds to buy enough for so many people! And believe it or not, these were people that hadn’t talked to us in MONTHS. So, we decided to go with the people who our son would recognize and know the most and feel comfortable with. That was that. Don’t stress about it and don’t let people treat you terribly because of the decision you made.

You have now experienced what everyone told you when they said, “Enjoy it now. They grow up so fast.”
That year really did go by fast, didn’t it?

Don’t be sad. Believe me, I was. But I didn’t need to be. My child is growing and it’s what we, as mothers, do. We get sad but we are happy for them. And we get ready for the next stage in their life. Be prepared for the obstacles that may come:

First year molars
First words and steps
Tempter tantrums
Terrible Twos

I haven’t experienced much yet, but that’s just what we’ve gotten so far.

Just remember: You are one amazing mom. You’re a rockstar. You are the best mom for your little baby. And as they grow and change, so do you.

Love,
The Mommy of a 1-Year Old

13151501_10206151479938253_4589970671008760466_n To The Mommy of a 1-Year Old

Toxic Relationships: A Few Reasons To Get Rid of Them

toxic Toxic Relationships: A Few Reasons To Get Rid of Them

Let’s face it. Unless you are living in a world where every single person around you is the most positive person on the planet, you have toxic people in your life.

I, for one, have dealt with one too many toxic people in my life and it’s taken me a long time to either realize it or realize it and then get them out. It’s really a harsh reality that you have to face every now and then.

That friend that you grew up with and have talked to for the past two decades could be your “best friend” but if you really think about it, they turn out to be this burden as opposed to being a light in your life. OR maybe you have a “friend” you became friends with just because you have things in common. Hey, that’s how a lot of us develop friendships but if all you ever do is talk about those couple things and your friend pretty much bashes all the things you believe in or think about…you’re probably better off without them.

Recently, over the past year or so, I have gone through some changes. No, nothing huge. But changes that involve getting rid of the toxic people from my life. And I figured, it would be a great idea to share it with people! You may find yourself reading this and a name pops into your head. Yeah…that relationship probably isn’t good for you.

  1. They’re usually full of negativity.

It’s true. They drown themselves in their own pity parties and as you try to comfort them and leave them with something to look forward to, they shoot you down with their negativity. Basically saying, “Buzz off, you have no idea what I am going through, so don’t bother trying to make me feel better.” Well, alrighty then. No arguments here, you’re on your own. Just get rid of them. The negativity does nothing good for you and your life. You should be surrounded by people that are going to be a positive outlook. Don’t get me wrong, people have bad days and that’s totally fine. And you may even feel negativity sometimes. But when each conversation is filled with the constant complaints about people or their life…it gets old.

2. They don’t support you.

Usually, those toxic people in your life don’t care very much about what is going on in your life. If you accomplish something or have some great news for you, they usually follow up with something better so something so negative that it makes you feel bad for sharing the news. You probably know them as “one-uppers.” Bet another name just popped into your head, didn’t it? They don’t just “one-up” you, they just downright don’t support anything you do or say. Not every friendship or relationship has to share the exact same views and opinions on things but hey, you don’t need to straight up bash somebody because of their point of view. I have kept myself at peace with a lot of the things people say and do and unless it is harming myself, my family, or others…it’s not going to bother me. Believe what you want, do what you want, if it truly makes you happy then that works for me!

3. They’re never really there for you.

This is probably one of the hardest things to come to terms with. Are you normally there for your friends? The one who comes to the rescue when they are feeling down and out and try to do whatever you can to lift them up? No one is perfect and as adults, we tend to not spend as much time on our friends as we used to. So, it’s okay to not ALWAYS be there at their doorstep with pizza and a bottle of wine when your friend has had a bad day. But if you’re going to text someone and ask them how they are doing, you better be there when you get back a response with, “I am just having a hard time right now.” I don’t know, I have a hard time remembering to text people back or I read a text and totally forget that I even read it. It happens. But when someone needs help, I do my best to be there. I guess it’s hard for some people who don’t value things the same way you do. We have families to take care of and businesses to run, it’s life. I get it. But there’s always that ONE friend that just…sucks at being there, period. And always expects you to be there for them. Ugh!

toxic Toxic Relationships: A Few Reasons To Get Rid of Them

4. They’re not as forgiving.

There have been numerous times where I have messed up in a friendship or gotten upset about something that happened or was said. If you’re a female reading this, you totally get it. Sometimes we are just a little sensitive…sometimes we’re a little mean. We can’t always control how we are feeling but we can choose how to carry on from the situation. Long story short, I had a friend who I told great news to and didn’t do #2. They didn’t support me. Mainly, they got jealous that I was going through something they weren’t…yet. Then they got mad. This whole time, I had no idea about it. Then something bad happened and they didn’t do #3. So, when that something bad happened, I was stuck without a friend to talk to because she was one of the only people to know about what was going on. Come to find out, she was jealous, didn’t want to talk to me, randomly talked to me again, found out about the bad news, felt extremely guilty, didn’t talk to me for longer, and then finally told me the truth. They apologized for not being there. And guess what? I forgave her. In an instant. Because, I understand that things happen and I wouldn’t want me friend to feel the way she was feeling. Fast forward to a few weeks later…you’re having a really rough time and that same friend tells you they are there for you if you need anything. Later on in the conversation, starts acting rude and you tell them….you’re sounding rude. Your comments are rude. I just don’t understand why you’re being rude. And then the comments from your friend turn out mean and just disrespectful (which will be #5) and well, you being the person going through the tough time, you get upset. You let your friend know you’re upset. And, you’re not going to let them walk all over you – like always (#6) and you tell them! But get this, later on you message them and apologize for your own actions. And your friend has the audacity to act like they did absolutely nothing wrong and was still being extremely rude to you.

Take the two scenarios here…your friend couldn’t forgive an ARGUMENT but you forgave them for being a plain, HORRIBLE FRIEND. End the friendship there.

5. They don’t respect you.

It kind of goes along the same lines of them not supporting you. They don’t really care what you think and don’t care all too much about what you have to say when they’re whining about their life. Clearly, if they’re not there for you when you do the same thing, that’s just not fair. And if they belittle you for the things that you do or say, that’s not respect at all. You two may have the same interests in life, but you are NOT the same person. But respect should always be there. It doesn’t matter if your friend makes more money than you or goes on vacations and buys a ton of fancy clothes…she shouldn’t rub that in your face or make you feel bad because you just don’t. Or you spend your money on other things that you see as more important to you. Not only that, if they are giving you condescending remarks about the things that you do or say, please know that they don’t have any respect for you. They may say, “I was only joking,” but there’s a good chance they were just being rude anyway.

6. They walk all over you.

Now this….I have been guilty of in the past. I had a friend that used to be the nicest person in the world and let people walk all over her ALL THE TIME. So, it wasn’t just me, but I took advantage of the fact that she never said “no.” Granted, I wasn’t the worst but if it came down to asking her for help, I knew she would be the one to do. Fast forward to a few years later and the mean friend she hung out with all the time (me) finally taught her not to let people do that and she doesn’t anymore. If she ever reads this, I am proud of you girl! haha. Anyway, I realized how much of a bad friend I was being, I stopped acting like that and I grew up! I mean, I was in high school so we all have some growing up to do in those years.

toxic Toxic Relationships: A Few Reasons To Get Rid of Them

 

With all that being said, someone is walking all over you and mistaking your kindness for weakness, drop them like a bad habit. I sure deserved it back in the day but I am thankful that my friend kept me around and we have been friends for over 10 years now. 🙂

Well, I think that’s about all I can think of at the moment. Spending time just going over these six reasons has helped me realize who I needed in my life and who I didn’t. Now, it’s your turn. Maybe a few names came up while you were reading….maybe you’re one of the lucky ones and you couldn’t think of anyone. That’s great! But for those of us with toxic people in our lives…don’t let them weigh you down. Assess the relationship and see if it’s going to make your life better or make it more stressful. I definitely like the less stress option. Good riddance!

 

toxic Toxic Relationships: A Few Reasons To Get Rid of Them

“Meternity Leave?” This is Maternity Leave

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Alright, there is a popular article that has pretty much gone viral all over Facebook and Twitter. I have seen it pop up on my feed quite a few times and I finally caved to read it.

The article on the New York Post titled, “I want all the perks of maternity leave — without having any kids ” by Anna Davies has stirred up quite a few blog posts and Facebook posts from moms all over, giving Miss Meghann Foye a piece of their mind. And well, being a mother myself and having finally read the darn thing, I decided to write about my feelings on this subject as well.

No, Meghann. I haven’t read your book. And there’s a very good chance that I won’t, mostly because I barely have time to read books as it is. Don’t get me wrong, I am not going to sit here and say that I have never been in your shoes before. I have. I was once one of those women that focused solely on career and friendships as opposed to thoughts of having a husband or kids in my future. Well, I thought about it but after numerous breakups and heartache, my life became more about me than about having a “we.”

I joined the military with every intent to put in my 20 years, retire, and live a fabulous life of being single and never having any other responsibilities besides the ones that are needed to take care of myself. And hey, that’s totally fine. More power to anyone who takes pride in what they do with their life. Countless jobs before, I thought it was unfair that mothers got to take time off of work. I mean, what did I know? I just saw these moms getting paid to take time away from work or even what you said in the article in the NYP, people got to leave work early to pick up the kids and having a friend who just suffered a breakup wasn’t a valid excuse. Been there. I was like, ‘Why the heck can’t I get out early because I live 30 minutes away and I want to go out with my friends…but I have to drive all the way back home then all the way back HERE just to do so.” We all worked together, downtown…it just made sense.

Then being in the military, I thought the same thing, at first. People got to get out of working a 13-14 shift because the daycares on base shut down after a certain time and you HAVE to pick up your children. People got time off and got away from the job that we were all sleepily working at on a Friday evening…still here…

But that’s the thing. You never know anything about anything unless you have been through it. This whole concept of “Meternity Leave” just makes no sense to me. That’s what vacations are for. If you work in the corporate world, you get paid time off and well, many people who don’t get paid time off for vacation, still get time off to themselves to do whatever they please.

Maternity leave is not a vacation. Maternity leave is a time of bonding with your child and having those precious moments with them. Because those first few months are some of the most important times that baby needs to be with their mother. And 3 months off? Not many people get that luxury. When I first had my child, I was given 6 weeks paid and I took an additional 2 weeks of my own time that I had saved up. And that’s in the military. Granted, we have recently changed things a bit and we now get those 12 weeks – paid, but that wasn’t the case before. And think about many people outside of the military who are ALLOWED to take those 12 weeks or more off…but many moms can’t afford to take it off because that time off isn’t even paid for! So, the entire time that the mother is supposed to be spending time with their child and learning how to be a mother, they are spending time stressing about the bills that need to be paid and how they are going to make up for the time lost at work.

Ask your friend who decided to leave her corporate job and start a new business after she had her baby. What is it exactly that made you want to do that? I am willing to bet that it wasn’t…”I had an awesome vacation from work and I wanted to continue it.” It is very likely the fact that she pushed a melon sized child out of her vagina and realized what was important in her life and what her focus needs to be on. And let me tell you…I highly doubt she had a “break.” Do you really think stay-at-home-moms ever get a day off? Wait, don’t even answer that. I am willing to bet I know which side of the spectrum you’re on when it comes to THAT conversation.

But here’s the main deal with this post. THIS is what maternity leave looks like. And if you’ve never had a child, you wouldn’t know.

2016-05-10_12-53-47 "Meternity Leave?" This is Maternity Leave

This beautiful moment after I had my first son is nothing short of amazing. Everything I felt was worth it. But what you don’t see here is that, I was terrified. Nurses and doctors didn’t speak to me. They acted like I wasn’t even there and they just had to get a melon out of me. What you don’t see is them pushing on my stomach and passing my placenta out and stitching me up. What you don’t see is the pain that I endured or the fact that because doctors wouldn’t talk to me, I had no idea what was going on.

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You may see me smiling here but what you don’t see is that I am cuddling with my child in the early morning, after hours of fighting him to nurse. I had to battle with him to try and eat for the first 6 days of his life. He had jaundice and wasn’t nursing at all and I didn’t understand why. So, laying down with him in bed was one of the only ways to get him to calm down.

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What you see here is a mom who stayed up all night with their crying baby. Trying to put him back to sleep after hours of trying. Many nights I fell asleep sitting up in my bed because my baby only wanted to sleep in that position.

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No, I am not squishing my child, but this is a great example of what you DON’T see moms go through during maternity leave. Finally, a satisfied baby. Fed and ready to pass out. But mama? Covered in milk from leaky boobs, stained shirts, nipples that are sore and completely cracked from learning how to nurse her baby for the first time, and breast pads to help from a milk waterfall from streaming down your clothes. As you can see, it doesn’t always help.

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There is always poop. I bet your “Meternity” never has a bunch of poop…or pee all over you. Or vomit for that matter, unless you’re covered in your own vomit from those margaritas with your girlfriends at the bar because you’re celebrating her newfound singleness.

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An exhausted mother. Sleeping with an ice pack in between her legs, wearing very large mesh underwear from the hospital, and feminine pads that resemble diapers. It’s the healing process. You don’t see that, do you? That’s because most women don’t post that all over their Facebook pages. You don’t see the heartache some moms go through when they look in the mirror and see their bloated stomach STILL looking like they are 6 months pregnant because not all moms lose weight while nursing. You don’t know the feeling of having a stitch stuck in your lady parts because it didn’t dissolve like it was supposed to. And you don’t know what it’s like to not be able to be intimate with your husband, 1. because you can’t and 2. because you have no energy.

There is no such thing as a “break” when it comes to maternity leave.

So, go ahead and suggest to everyone that you deserve your “ME” time. Because honestly, us moms never really get that “Meternity Leave.” Once you have a child, there is no such thing as ME time. It’s about your kids. It’s about family. And yes, that’s a choice that we, as parents made for our lives. But don’t you dare say you need paid time off to have time to yourself just because women have a baby and get their time off.

Also, I found an article that I found completely hilarious after I started writing this post. And for those of you that want “MEternity leave,” I say, go for it. As long as you abide by the rules of this post. And I absolutely love it.

So you want maternity leave without the kids? OK. Here’s how that should go.” by Elizabeth Bromstein

2016-05-10_12-53-47 "Meternity Leave?" This is Maternity Leave

The End of the First Trimester

img_1587 The End of the First Trimester

The first part of a series of documenting my second pregnancy.

I didn’t do much documenting with my first pregnancy with my son. I didn’t really know what to write about and I was in this weird stage of trying to figure out what kind of blog I wanted to have…but that doesn’t matter. I have a blog as an outlet. To talk about my feelings and how my life is and to just have somewhere to dump all of my emotions so that I don’t scream at the next person who speaks to me. So, I will just write about my pregnancy, here.

Unfortunately, I didn’t write anything about this pregnancy until literally the END of the first trimester, but we weren’t really telling anyone about it yet. Most people don’t want to tell anyone in the first trimester that they are pregnant (especially if they had already experienced a miscarriage) because miscarriages are quite common in the beginning. So common, that almost 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, with the majority occurring during the first 12 weeks. There is a 75% chance of miscarriage in weeks 1-2 of pregnancy, when you do not know you are pregnant. There is a 10% chance of miscarriage in weeks 3-6 and this number drops to 5% during weeks 6-12. That’s kind of a big deal. Anyone can see why most families tend to share the news AFTER the ultrasound.

Okay, I lied.

So, that’s what we did. We did it with Aston and we decided to wait for this one too. I was so happy to see that everything was okay and our little peanut was moving around in there. Arm buds and all. 😛 I found out I was pregnant when I was maybe…about 4 weeks along. Seriously, we experienced a loss in January and the next month, I was pregnant again. I was keeping track and told my husband that I wouldn’t take a pregnancy test again so soon. Okay, I lied. We had been trying for another baby and I was too excited when I didn’t get my period! And, it was positive. WOO HOO!

Went into medical the following Monday to be sure and yes, another positive test. HCG levels were pretty high and I was on cloud nine. But, we didn’t want to say anything to anyone.

6 LONG weeks later, we were finally able to get an ultrasound done and we announced the big news!

Related: And Then There Were Four…

The first few weeks after finding out I was pregnant was a bit rough. And what I mean by few I mean like…the past 8 weeks. I never got sick with Aston. No morning sickness. I believe I had about 2 days of nausea and it literally felt like it was just the flu, not a human being growing inside of me. But this time is slightly different. I am still nursing Aston in the evenings and weekends, basically whenever I am home with him. So, there’s the nursing and then there’s the normal fatigue that comes with pregnancy. The first trimester just blows when it comes to energy levels.

I come home every night and pretty much just pass out with Aston. Play with Aston a little bit when we get home then it’s time for him to take a nap so I nurse him and I either watch TV or pass out with him. And when I try to get up to do anything, he flips out. Apparently, it’s his time to be with mama. That’s fine. I like to get my snuggles in when I can.

Nope. You did it once this week. Don’t you dare try again.

But working out, yeah. I didn’t work out at first because I was afraid to. I know very well that working out doesn’t cause miscarriages. But when you start bleeding WHILE you are at the gym, you kind of worry a little bit and this time I just stopped. Probably a stupid idea, but I was all in my head and I just didn’t want to risk it. So, I didn’t. I did try to start working out again and I would do one day but then my body was like, “Nope. You did it once this week. Don’t you dare try again.” And I would just be in pain for a few days and I would get sick. I was just done. So, the first trimester has been difficult for me. Not the regular difficult like most moms go through but…finding the time and energy while working full time, having a 14 month old at home, and growing another baby is hard! Anyone who says it’s easy is lying to you. No joke. But, you can make it through. That’s what I am finally starting to do.

And eating well? Forget that. For the first few weeks, anytime I even looked at a vegetable, I wanted to vomit. That is clearly not healthy and not like me at all. This baby is definitely a different one than his or her big brother. But I am working on it. Trying not to give into the cravings is really hard but I cannot let myself gain over 60 pounds again like I did with Aston. It’s not fun. It’s really hard to get everything you worked so hard for back! Trust me.

I’m not even fully at the end of this trimester but I am almost there. The first trimester seems to just fly by. Before I know it, I will be in the third trimester and then having my baby and into the fourth trimester I go! Oh man…that’s scary all on it’s own!

 

(Written 2 weeks prior to publishing)

img_1587 The End of the First Trimester

#LetsFixThis

autumn #LetsFixThis

It’s sad to know that human trafficking is such an issue today. But thankfully there are people at the International Justice Mission and Beachbody that are doing their part to make a difference. Click here to learn more about the International Justice Mission.

autumn #LetsFixThis

And now it’s my turn. The CEO of Beachbody, Carl Daikeler, has put the 21 Day Fix Challenge Pack on sale for the month of June. A challenge pack is a bag of Shakeology PLUS the 21 Day Fix workouts, meal plans, workout calendar, and more, for $140. That’s only $10 more than a bag of Shakeology, by itself.

Why is this sale important? Well, for every 21 Day Fix Challenge Pack that is sold during this month, Carl will donate $10 to the International Justice Mission to help in the efforts to end human trafficking!

This is so exciting! To be part of a company that helps change lives, get people fit and healthy, AND supports a good cause. I am all about that. So, here’s the deal.

I am running a challenge group next month to get people together and get healthy and so wait. You’ve all seen the infomercials about the 21 Day Fix. You’ve seen commercials. You’ve seen people walking around with these colored containers and drinking Shakeology. I want to talk to you about all of that.

First of all, this is Shakeology:

That’s the best way I can describe it. It’s a healthy, nutrient dense shake. It’s super healthy and tasty at the same time and it has changed my life.

I want to help you get a jump start on your health and fitness lifestyle! Join me in this challenge group! Lose weight, get toned, get healthy, be fit, have accountability, be encouraged, and get help and advice from others like us! Email me at heydarlinglove@outlook.com if you have any questions or are interested in getting started!! I am very excited about this challenge next month and I hope to get others involved with me so we can help put an end to human trafficking AND get fit and healthy!

autumn #LetsFixThis

www.teambeachbodycoach.com/doughertya

For more info on the 21 Day Fix challenge pack, please watch this video or email me to find out more! 🙂

autumn #LetsFixThis

My Son Is NOT an Excuse

yourreason My Son Is NOT an Excuse

So many times I have heard, “I’m too busy,” “I am a mom/dad,” “my kids take up all of my time,” “I can’t meal prep for myself, my husband, and my kids,”…the list goes on and on. And hey, I’ll give it to yea, it’s HARD! Being a new mom, and for the first time, has made me realize how much time I used to have for myself and my husband. But the thing is…I can still do the things I love WHILE being a Mommy. Being a wife and a mother is one of the best jobs I have ever had and working out is one of my biggest passions. So, why not combine them both?

Do what you love and do it without excuses. My son is my REASON I keep pushing myself. Someday, he’s going to be walking around with those little, chunky legs and will be watching me. But will he be watching me eating junk food on the couch indulging in Netflix, or will he be watching me be my healthiest, fittest, and HAPPIEST self. I want him to see that it takes hard work and motivation and that it IS possible, no matter what, to achieve your goals.

I am a wife. I am a mommy. I am a student. I am a coach. I am a full time Active Duty service member. And I am ABLE to reach my goals, as long as I keep pushing myself and doing my best, every day.

Are you ready to join me?

Please, feel free to contact me if you’re interested in changing your life!!!
yourreason My Son Is NOT an Excuse

 

yourreason My Son Is NOT an Excuse

Hearts2Honduras

So, we all know that HeyDarlingLove is all about helping people! Whether it be about health and fitness or just life in general, I love to help others on their mission. When I noticed that my friend, Nina was trying to raise money to go back to Honduras, I decided to ask her to write a little something and I would include it in my blog.

It’s been WEEKS since I have posted anything but I felt that posting this is definitely a worthy cause. Here is what Nina had to say.

“As I was heading to the airport in January with bags full of clothes to donate to families when I arrived in Honduras all I was thinking was: How awesome is this going to be, I am going on my second missions trip and going to be going to another country. Little did I know with in hours of being in Honduras seeing the joy on the childrens faces as we pulled up to meet them God would be telling me I was going back. I am so excited to say I will be going on my second trip back to Honduras May 27th-June 10th to help out in the same community as I helped the first trip where we poured concrete for their church/learning center along with loving on every child that wanted to be there helping us help them. There were so many children loving and kissing on me and even though we didn’t speak the same language verbally we still were able to communicate through God, smiles, and love. I am excited to say that I was asked to go back to Honduras for the 3rd time next January to see these sweet children that I will be able to come back and have them run up to me like no time has past like old friends do, because that is what they are. Please consider making a donation for me to go to them and spend time loving them in January I can’t wait to love on them more and more every time I am able to see them.”

4655815_1432168658_0554_funddescription Hearts2Honduras 4655815_1432168658_0554_funddescription Hearts2Honduras 4655815_1432168658_0554_funddescription Hearts2Honduras

If you’re interested in helping Nina get back to Honduras, please visit her site!

http://www.gofundme.com/v3v9qk

I’m proud of you, Nina! You’re going out and doing so much! You’re an inspiration. <3 I wish I could go along with you! Good luck and safe travels!

4655815_1432168658_0554_funddescription Hearts2Honduras

4655815_1432168658_0554_funddescription Hearts2Honduras

A Wedding in November

oct A Wedding in November

For those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile, may have seen a post from a few months ago about my friends’ wedding in Lake Tahoe. Well, it was kind of a secret wedding. How does that work? Well, being in the military, you’re around people ALL THE TIME. And sometimes, you happen to fall in love with someone you work with and you want to spend the rest of your life with them…it happened to J and I. I know it happens!

Anyway, I am not going to dive into the rules and what not because that’s boring. Who cares? Let’s talk about love. haha.

You can read that post from the wedding here.
http://heydarlinglove.com/2014/11/30/a-wedding-in-nevada/

Did you click it? I hope so! Notice something? You didn’t see photos of the bride and groom! Well, like I said, it as a secret wedding. I had to wait until they made everything public before I could post the photos! Also, I have been itching to post the photos of Jamie’s hair and makeup! It’s the first time I had done a bride’s hair and makeup (besides myself) in a few years and I had such  fun time doing it.

Well, now I can share! I’ve actually been able to share these photos for awhile now but as most of you know, I haven’t been in the blogging scene lately since Aston has been born. And I still need to post about him too. lol

Anyway…introducing Brent and Jamie, married!!

oct A Wedding in November oct A Wedding in November oct A Wedding in November
oct A Wedding in November
oct A Wedding in Novemberoct A Wedding in Novemberoct A Wedding in NovemberIt was such a beautiful wedding and a lot of fun! Even being a big ol’ preggo. haha. And the best part is…I know they are going to have such a beautiful marriage. I miss Jamie like crazy and I can’t wait until I get to see her again! Since getting married, she has left California and gone to Florida (stupid Navy always moving people away lol) and her hubby will be following sometime this year. He still has to finish his contract out here.

Hope you all enjoyed the photos! And I hope you enjoyed the fact that I actually posted again. lol. Have a marvelous Sunday!!!

oct A Wedding in November

oct A Wedding in November