Starbucks “Unicorn” Drink: Love It or Hate It?

2 Starbucks "Unicorn" Drink: Love It or Hate It?
@heart.of.a.mermaid

Let’s get one thing straight.

I love many and almost all things unicorn AND Lisa Frank-like! I’m a 90’s kid and Lisa Frank was all the rage when I was a kid. Trapper keepers and stickers were (and still are) my jam. I think the crazy unicorn phase we’re all going through is the same thing now.

Starbucks came out with this super cool Unicorn Frappucino, guys! And let me tell you – I was incredibly excited about it. Why? Because it’s purple-y and unicorn-y. Yeah, I’m making up words now.

But I’ve been at work the entire first day of it’s release and I was like,

“Darn. I’m missing out.”

As I’m sure all of us have noticed (Facebook and Instagram tell us EVERYTHING), people have been posting the nutritional facts about these beautiful beverages. I will not lie to you. I was incredibly disappointed with what I saw BUT I really wasn’t surprised! I mean, look:

2 Starbucks "Unicorn" Drink: Love It or Hate It?
In reality, if you’re getting any sort is specialty drink at Starbucks, you’re probably getting a pretty decent amount of sugar and sodium from that too. Obviously, it would vary by size. But did you really think that Starbucks was going to make this pretty drink WITHOUT sugar? Is it possible? Maybe. I wouldn’t know. I’m not that creative.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you I’m the epitome of a healthy eater. Actually, I’d like to say I’m a good example of a #fitmom but hey, I’m still human. I enjoy a few oreos and a caramel Frappucino (extra caramel, please). But I really don’t suggest filling your body with two to three times of the recommended amount of sugar. Let’s go with #FitMomButImHuman.

2 Starbucks "Unicorn" Drink: Love It or Hate It?

Also, you know how many people said it didn’t even taste that great? Some people say it tastes like birthday cake. There’s “sour stuff” in it from what I read in one of my local groups I’m a part of. Sour is cool…but I don’t know how that would taste with coffee.

Oh wait. THERE ISN’T ANY COFFEE IN IT! 

2 Starbucks "Unicorn" Drink: Love It or Hate It?
Nationwide Nurse-In Events and Breastfeeding Laws

Listen here, I’m all for caffeine free beverages. I’ll drink them at the end of the day for the sole reason of needing to sleep at night or because I’m still breastfeeding. I’d rather not be kept up by my 6 month because she’s bouncing off the walls.

BUT, I AM a mom of two. Two children who happen to be 2 and under. If I’m going to have a drink from Starbucks, I want to be kept awake throughout the day to prevent “mombie” mode with CAFFEINE, not a sugar high!

And like I said, from the sounds of it, it doesn’t taste that great. From what I got (from the thousands of people’s posts) is that it basically tastes like birthday cake filled with disappointment. Hey, that’s just what it sounds like.

I will say this though (and to those of you STILL reading, thank you), if you compare some of the popular soda beverages out there to this drink then you will likely see that the sugar content really isn’t as horrible as you thought. ALSO, if you decide you want to get the Unicorn Frappucino with soy milk and no whip cream, then the sugar drops quite a bit. There are people who are freaking out about the nutrition in these drinks and there are people who are freaking out about the people who are freaking out about the nutrition. That sentence made sense, right?

Yes, I added the nutrition in this post.
Yes, I talked about it.
Yes, I said I wouldn’t drink it because of how much sugar there is in it.
BUT – if I alter the drink to the way I would like to drink it (soy milk and no whip cream) and I get a smaller size (a tall)…guess what? The sugar is LESS than ONE can of Coca-cola.

2 Starbucks "Unicorn" Drink: Love It or Hate It?

How many of  you drink one soda per day? Something to think about, hey?

Either way – will I try it? Maybe. I have a few days left to do so.
Will I be mad if I don’t? Eh, maybe not.
If I am going to spend $4 (or more) on a beverage at Starbucks…
– it needs caffeine/coffee
– it needs to be delicious
– it needs to be worth packing up the 2 children, driving to Starbucks, waiting in line, spending the money, and making me feel like a supermom

Hey, if I try it, at least it’ll be a good photo op for my Instagram. 😉

@kaileymiljus @themama_x3 @itskayteebitch

@daniellebrooke

2 Starbucks "Unicorn" Drink: Love It or Hate It?

The Truth About 28

img_8604 The Truth About 28
I posted a photo the other day on my Instagram, about how it felt to be TWENTY EIGHT. I mean, not much has really changed overnight from 27 to 28. I’m still me but at the same time, I’m different. 

✨the truth about 28 – as I see it✨ ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• I'm still in my twenties. I'm still young. Long ago, I used to think 28 (or anything above 25) was old. 12 years ago, I experienced horrible heartache. And last year I experienced loss. This day doesn't always bring amazing memories but it's not always a sad day either. It's a day I get to celebrate each year, the woman I have become. The woman I am going to be. And the woman I once was. Every year, I sit and reflect on these days and today I sit here, so peaceful. Loving every moment of my life that I've been blessed with. I am a wife, a mother to two beautiful babies, I am healthy, I am strong, I am loved, and I am happy. Happy is not a word I used to describe myself in the years past but I can confidently say it now. 28 isn't a year of change or discovery for me. It's a year of passion. There ARE a lot of changes happening in my life this year, but I get to express and explore my passions. And I'm so excited. Bring it on, 28. ____ 👆🏽 Read more in the blog on Friday. Link will be in the bio. 💕 . . . . . #birthday#happybirthday#28thbirthday#lovemylife#embracewomanhood#embracemotherhood#thehappynow#motherhood#motherhoodthroughinstagram#momsofinstagram#momsofinsta#momsoftwo#strongmama#blog#blogger#momblog#momblogger#ageisjustanumber#lifestyleblogger#lblogger#lifesgood#womanhood#empoweredmama#empoweredwoman#empoweringwomen#selflove#fitmom#fitmama#fitmomsinspire#momswholift

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I’m currently stuck in this stage of not quite mid twenties but not yet thirty. What does that even entail these days? As I wrote in my Instagram post, a few years ago, I thought 30 was such a dirty word! It meant I was old! But the thing is, I still have so much life left ahead of me. And the best part about it is: I spent almost 28 years of my life trying to figure out who the heck I was, trying to find the confidence to be ME, and now I get to spend the rest of my life being me! Unapologetically! 

My birthday isn’t something I ever look forward to. It’s another year I’ve been on this earth and another year I’ve gotten to enjoy the blessings in my life. But it wasn’t always like that. It seems that around my birthday, I’ve always dealt with some sort of pain or tragedy – a bad memory in my life. 

  1. Death of a family member
  2. Loss of a pregnancy
  3. Losing another pregnancy
  4. Breakups

One of those things really isn’t that big of a deal now, but it took a long time for me to get past a few of the others. And although I won’t get into the details on this post, I will say that I’ve come out stronger than I was before. 

And 28 as I see it…is a year of a fabulous me. The mommy of two beautiful children, the wife of a handsome and intelligent man, the active duty service member becoming a stay at home mom. It’s a year of experience, a year of learning, and a year of adventure. Adventures in motherhood, stay at home mom life, not earning my own income anymore, and adventures with my family! 

So, no. I am not in my mid twenties or in my thirties. I am not old. I am not young and naive…

But I am everything and everywhere I am supposed to be. That’s the truth about 28, as I see it.

img_8604 The Truth About 28

The Mama Breastfeeding Two Babies

Anyone see that photo of the mom nursing both of her children at the same time?

Yeah, that’s me. It’s crazy to think that a photo that I had posted to my Instagram page was reposted many times and commented on by so many people. I wrote about how it felt to nurse both of my kids at the same time and it really was an amazing experience for me. You can read about it here:

Ever since my husband snapped this photo of me a few days ago, I've been going back and forth in my head, trying to decide if I wanted to post this photo or not. I'm not new to posting breastfeeding photos and I am not new to nursing in general but I found this to be quite an experience that I shared with both of my children. This was the first time I nursed them both at the same time. . . My son is getting closer and closer to being 2 years old and my daughter is almost a month old. They are growing up far too fast already! There's a tremendous amount of bonding that you get when you nurse your littles and man, it's crazy how it feels to be able to nurse both of them. My body is providing milk for not just one but for two of them. It's seriously amazing what our bodies can do. . . Brother seems to be nursing more now that little sister is here. But he's been pretty good at learning that sister needs milkies first and that's all she eats. It took a little bit but I think he's starting to understand a little more. Although, he does ask a lot more often to nurse when sister is already on there. So when I am able, I do my best to let him too. The look on my face is me saying, "I'm doing it!!" 😂 There are so many things I said I'd never do as a mom or that I won't be able to do…but here I am. Doing these things and it's awesome. . . . . #momdotme #motherhood #motherhoodrising #tandemnursing #tandem #normalizebreastfeeding #toddlernursing #letthembelittle #attachmentparenting #naturalbirth #momlife #mommyof2 #crunchymom #crunchymama #milkies #breastfeeding #newborn #kidsofinstagram #badassmom #candidchildhood #breastfeedwithoutfear #4thtrimester #4thtrimesterbodiesproject #takebackpostpartum #postpartum #postpartumbody #badassbreastfeeder

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Even pages like PopSugarMoms, Essential Baby and FitPregnancy wrote about the photo and shared it on their Facebook pages. It was really cool to see that. My friends and even followers on Instagram were sending me messages and tagging me in posts that had my photo on it. And as I would see these posts, I would look at the comments as I left my own. 

Many mom’s were sharing their experiences nursing their babies and even tandem nursing as well. It was wonderful and encouraging to read these stories! 

The sad part about this is, there were a lot of negative comments. These pages, magazines, and blogs that were reposting my photo or writing articles about it, were using my photo as a way to encourage women. To empower them. To show them how strong our bodies can be. And yet, there was always some yahoo that decided it would be great to say,

“You showed your tits on the internet, good for you.” 

&

“It’s sad that you’re just desperate for attention.”

Those are just the two main ones. Not only that, I ended up receiving messages. Messages that were saying incredibly rude and inappropriate things that I don’t even want to repeat. It was just very upsetting to read these things and to see how they would defend themselves when others would respond to them. 

The thing about this photo is that…it was a wonderful moment that I got to share with my children and my husband. Not only that, the ONE time my husband actually took his phone out to snap photos (without being prompted by me) was this moment. Right when I said to him, “I’m doing it!” Because I was shocked and excited that I finally did it. 

For some odd reason, I was scared to nurse both of them at the same time. I saw photos of mom’s doing it but I had never seen any of my friends do it. I didn’t even know it was possible until I became a mom. But this special moment that I shared with my family, I wanted to share with the other moms that were following me on Instagram… my excitement! I never posted for attention…that would just be weird. And for someone to say “tits” as if I was a porn star showing off my goods…that’s just foul. I was just doing what my body was intended to do! 

There were even comments about how some women can’t breastfeed or can’t do it for that long. Someone decided to tell me it was rude of me to rub it in the faces of those who couldn’t. Well, I’m sorry but I didn’t post it to rub it in. I never claim to be better than any other mom and I’m not one of those people that think you’re horrible for giving your baby formula! Is your baby fed? Then that’s all the matters! But please, don’t continue the vicious cycle of tearing women down. It sucks and I say as women, we just try to end that! Building each other up and empowering one another is what I stand for, hence the reason for my post on Instagram. 

Thank you to those who had shared my photo. I was a little worried about having my photo going around the internet, but I will tell you…I am darn proud of the fact that I am doing so many things as a mother that I either swore I’d never do or that I didn’t think I’d be capable of. Turns out…I am a lot stronger than I realized. 

?s=100&d=mm&r=g The Mama Breastfeeding Two Babies

One Month Old – One Month as a Mom of 2

dsc_0743_fotor One Month Old - One Month as a Mom of 2

Our little girl is officially one month old! What that also means is I have officially been a mother to two beautiful babies for one month now. Has it been easy?

No.

But it’s been a month full of love. Even in the hard moments, I try to remember how wonderful and amazing my life is. I have been blessed with the opportunity to be a mom to both of these children.

This past month has been totally different than the first month of being a new mom. When I had my son, I also had my husband home quite often to help me out when I needed it. This time, I have two babies with me, at home, alone, without help. It is TERRIFYING.

I was incredibly terrified of being home with two babies by myself. When I was pregnant, I had a bit of anxiety about it and would worry about whether or not I am going to be a good mom to both of these littles. I tried to figure out ways to prepare myself for being a mother of two. I rearranged my living room about 10 times during the weeks that I was pregnant, my husband built a learning tower for our son so that he could help us with things in the kitchen since he’s become so independent, and I went on Pinterest and pinned every blog post I could that talked about preparing your toddler for a sibling.

dsc_0743_fotor One Month Old - One Month as a Mom of 2

But the thing is, there really isn’t much you can do to prepare. All you can really do is to do your best at remaining calm in all situations and to find inner peace. Because let me tell you, when you have a child gearing up for those “terrible-twos” he will test your patience as much as possible and you will need all the peace you can get!

You also can’t prepare yourself for things like:

  • How much your first born LOVES his sibling. He will literally try to sit on her to give her hugs and kisses.
  • How to remember to eat after all the kids have been fed and taken care of.
  • How to get a week’s worth of clothing and diaper laundry done…before the next week starts.
  • How to get out of the house on time.
  • How to make time to workout (I have yet to try this since I haven’t yet been cleared to do so).
  • The amount of coffee you will consume in a day…and how many times you will warm the same cup in the microwave.

There are many more things you really just can’t prepare for…but being home with both of these kids have really opened up my heart and my mind in so many ways. I am starting to understand “the other side” as not only a mom of two but a mom to two babies who stays home with them. I get it that it’s not always easy and I get that you never really get a “break.” You’re always mom and you’re always needed…24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Before going on maternity leave, I had that break from being mom when I was Sailor instead. Being in the military and working gave me that. I am slowly learning more and more the true meaning of “there are pros and cons to everything.” I know what that means but experiencing it makes a total difference.

dsc_0743_fotor One Month Old - One Month as a Mom of 2

But at this point in time…I wouldn’t change a thing. This is where I’m called to be and I’m enjoying it for as long as possible…as my toddler spills an entire bag of pretzels on the floor for the 13th time today…

dsc_0743_fotor One Month Old - One Month as a Mom of 2

Morning snuggles, nursing sessions, and baby feet

img_7271 Morning snuggles, nursing sessions, and baby feet
4 weeks ago, I woke up looking down at my belly and wondered when I was going to meet my daughter. Little did I know, I was going to be in early stages of labor at the gym that evening and would deliver the next day. I look down today and see a tummy that has been home to two beautiful babies. Stretch marks from the first pregnancy that “ruined” my first ever tattoo that I got when I was 18 and the same ones that stretched between the holes of my navel piercing that I took out when I joined the military. My belly isn’t completely flat but it’s crazy to see the differences and changes my body has made over the past 2 years. And today, I look down and I am proud. I am proud of what my body has done and what it’s going to do. The #postpartumbody is a body (as are all bodies) to be celebrated. I never realized the joy and beauty there is in this body the first time. But I’m so glad I found all of that this time. 

**this post was originally posted on my Instagram account and had a lot of responses. I decided that I would post it to my blog as well. ❤️️ 

img_7271 Morning snuggles, nursing sessions, and baby feet

3 Weeks Post Baby

img_6843 3 Weeks Post BabyWhile I was pregnant, I kept up with my fitness lifestyle. At least, during my second pregnancy. During my first, I didn’t work out much due to the doctor telling me to take 8 weeks off because I almost lost my son. It was scary and I listened! But it was very difficult to pick up the fitness routine after those 8 weeks and I just gave up. I fought hard for that year before we got pregnant again and I was barely even close to where I had been before. 

The cool thing is, I gained a lot of muscle and was in better shape during this pregnancy than in between my pregnancies. I want to get back into the gym but at the same time…I’m trying my best to be patient through the healing. Plus…I have two babies at home to take care of now. So, it’ll be interesting to see how I fit in my workouts! 

BUT I’ve been itching to do some exercising. I’m not in a HUGE hurry to get back into the gym but I’m noticing that some of the gains I worked so hard for during my pregnancy…are slowly going away. That’s not fun. You know what else isn’t fun? Being super antsy to just get outside or to move a little more. 

I have yet to buy my double jogging stroller to take the kids out together but on the weekends my hubby and I can take both the kids and go for super nice walks together. Little man goes on the swings at the park and plays on the playground, little miss takes naps in the stroller, and my husband and I do exercises at the park. He does a lot of pull-ups and other calisthenics and I just to body weight exercises. For now, I’m not doing too much but just being able to get my heart rate up is good. It definitely helps my mood as well. Keeps me sane. 😂 Movement is good for the body and the soul! 🙌🏽❤️️

img_6843 3 Weeks Post Baby

To The Mommy of a 1-Year Old

13151501_10206151479938253_4589970671008760466_n To The Mommy of a 1-Year Old

Dear Mommy of a 1-Year Old,

You did it.

Didn’t think you’d make it this far with all of your hair still, huh? Well, you did and you are fantastic.

The first year of anything you do in life isn’t easy. And the first year is definitely a rough one. Then again, we have the rest of our lives with our children and I am sure there are many more years to go that could be just as trying as the first!

But hey, you did it. You ROCKED being a mommy.

You made it through those sleepless nights.
You learned not to wake a sleeping baby.
You figured out the difference between a hungry cry and a sleepy cry.
You have a new outlook on life.
You figured out that being a mom is hard work…
and it’s the best thing you’ve ever done with your life.
You realized that you don’t care about what others think about you…
– your clothes
– your hair
– your parenting style
You figured out that there are more things to think about and none of them are for you.
You figured out that you are much stronger than you know.

Many people told you what it was going to be like having a baby. They told you the pros and the cons and well, a lot of times they left out the really juicy stuff that you wish you had known. But you, you learned that every child is different and you did everything you could to make sure you kept your sanity and kept your bundle of joy safe and happy.

Moms talked to you about topics like (some more controversial than others):
Breastfeeding vs formula feeding
Circumcised or not
Cloth diapers vs disposable
Binky (paci/nook) vs not using one
Babywearing or stroller usage
vax, delayed, or nonvax
and so much more.

It’s all a mess sometimes but everyone parents differently. Everyone makes their own decisions based off of what they believe is right and what works for the family. And you did exactly that.

Good for you, mama! Keep doing what you’re doing.

And now your baby is 1 and it’s a huge step. Don’t worry about where they are.

If they’re walking now, great. If not, that’s great too. Some people want fast movers and some enjoy the immobility for as long as possible.
So, they’re not talking yet, it’s okay. They will, when they are ready.
That first birthday party? It doesn’t have to be extravagant. You don’t have to stress about the theme, the decorations, or who is coming. You can if you want, but your child will not remember it. It’s all for you guys anyway. And a little thing I must add: Really, don’t worry about who is invited.

We had a huge issue with people getting upset with us for not inviting them to our son’s first birthday party. Grown adults whining about not coming to a 1 year old’s party. The thing is, last minute, we decided to have the party at home. Our home is tiny and there wasn’t tons of room for children and tons of adults and we didn’t have the funds to buy enough for so many people! And believe it or not, these were people that hadn’t talked to us in MONTHS. So, we decided to go with the people who our son would recognize and know the most and feel comfortable with. That was that. Don’t stress about it and don’t let people treat you terribly because of the decision you made.

You have now experienced what everyone told you when they said, “Enjoy it now. They grow up so fast.”
That year really did go by fast, didn’t it?

Don’t be sad. Believe me, I was. But I didn’t need to be. My child is growing and it’s what we, as mothers, do. We get sad but we are happy for them. And we get ready for the next stage in their life. Be prepared for the obstacles that may come:

First year molars
First words and steps
Tempter tantrums
Terrible Twos

I haven’t experienced much yet, but that’s just what we’ve gotten so far.

Just remember: You are one amazing mom. You’re a rockstar. You are the best mom for your little baby. And as they grow and change, so do you.

Love,
The Mommy of a 1-Year Old

13151501_10206151479938253_4589970671008760466_n To The Mommy of a 1-Year Old

Toxic Relationships: A Few Reasons To Get Rid of Them

toxic Toxic Relationships: A Few Reasons To Get Rid of Them

Let’s face it. Unless you are living in a world where every single person around you is the most positive person on the planet, you have toxic people in your life.

I, for one, have dealt with one too many toxic people in my life and it’s taken me a long time to either realize it or realize it and then get them out. It’s really a harsh reality that you have to face every now and then.

That friend that you grew up with and have talked to for the past two decades could be your “best friend” but if you really think about it, they turn out to be this burden as opposed to being a light in your life. OR maybe you have a “friend” you became friends with just because you have things in common. Hey, that’s how a lot of us develop friendships but if all you ever do is talk about those couple things and your friend pretty much bashes all the things you believe in or think about…you’re probably better off without them.

Recently, over the past year or so, I have gone through some changes. No, nothing huge. But changes that involve getting rid of the toxic people from my life. And I figured, it would be a great idea to share it with people! You may find yourself reading this and a name pops into your head. Yeah…that relationship probably isn’t good for you.

  1. They’re usually full of negativity.

It’s true. They drown themselves in their own pity parties and as you try to comfort them and leave them with something to look forward to, they shoot you down with their negativity. Basically saying, “Buzz off, you have no idea what I am going through, so don’t bother trying to make me feel better.” Well, alrighty then. No arguments here, you’re on your own. Just get rid of them. The negativity does nothing good for you and your life. You should be surrounded by people that are going to be a positive outlook. Don’t get me wrong, people have bad days and that’s totally fine. And you may even feel negativity sometimes. But when each conversation is filled with the constant complaints about people or their life…it gets old.

2. They don’t support you.

Usually, those toxic people in your life don’t care very much about what is going on in your life. If you accomplish something or have some great news for you, they usually follow up with something better so something so negative that it makes you feel bad for sharing the news. You probably know them as “one-uppers.” Bet another name just popped into your head, didn’t it? They don’t just “one-up” you, they just downright don’t support anything you do or say. Not every friendship or relationship has to share the exact same views and opinions on things but hey, you don’t need to straight up bash somebody because of their point of view. I have kept myself at peace with a lot of the things people say and do and unless it is harming myself, my family, or others…it’s not going to bother me. Believe what you want, do what you want, if it truly makes you happy then that works for me!

3. They’re never really there for you.

This is probably one of the hardest things to come to terms with. Are you normally there for your friends? The one who comes to the rescue when they are feeling down and out and try to do whatever you can to lift them up? No one is perfect and as adults, we tend to not spend as much time on our friends as we used to. So, it’s okay to not ALWAYS be there at their doorstep with pizza and a bottle of wine when your friend has had a bad day. But if you’re going to text someone and ask them how they are doing, you better be there when you get back a response with, “I am just having a hard time right now.” I don’t know, I have a hard time remembering to text people back or I read a text and totally forget that I even read it. It happens. But when someone needs help, I do my best to be there. I guess it’s hard for some people who don’t value things the same way you do. We have families to take care of and businesses to run, it’s life. I get it. But there’s always that ONE friend that just…sucks at being there, period. And always expects you to be there for them. Ugh!

toxic Toxic Relationships: A Few Reasons To Get Rid of Them

4. They’re not as forgiving.

There have been numerous times where I have messed up in a friendship or gotten upset about something that happened or was said. If you’re a female reading this, you totally get it. Sometimes we are just a little sensitive…sometimes we’re a little mean. We can’t always control how we are feeling but we can choose how to carry on from the situation. Long story short, I had a friend who I told great news to and didn’t do #2. They didn’t support me. Mainly, they got jealous that I was going through something they weren’t…yet. Then they got mad. This whole time, I had no idea about it. Then something bad happened and they didn’t do #3. So, when that something bad happened, I was stuck without a friend to talk to because she was one of the only people to know about what was going on. Come to find out, she was jealous, didn’t want to talk to me, randomly talked to me again, found out about the bad news, felt extremely guilty, didn’t talk to me for longer, and then finally told me the truth. They apologized for not being there. And guess what? I forgave her. In an instant. Because, I understand that things happen and I wouldn’t want me friend to feel the way she was feeling. Fast forward to a few weeks later…you’re having a really rough time and that same friend tells you they are there for you if you need anything. Later on in the conversation, starts acting rude and you tell them….you’re sounding rude. Your comments are rude. I just don’t understand why you’re being rude. And then the comments from your friend turn out mean and just disrespectful (which will be #5) and well, you being the person going through the tough time, you get upset. You let your friend know you’re upset. And, you’re not going to let them walk all over you – like always (#6) and you tell them! But get this, later on you message them and apologize for your own actions. And your friend has the audacity to act like they did absolutely nothing wrong and was still being extremely rude to you.

Take the two scenarios here…your friend couldn’t forgive an ARGUMENT but you forgave them for being a plain, HORRIBLE FRIEND. End the friendship there.

5. They don’t respect you.

It kind of goes along the same lines of them not supporting you. They don’t really care what you think and don’t care all too much about what you have to say when they’re whining about their life. Clearly, if they’re not there for you when you do the same thing, that’s just not fair. And if they belittle you for the things that you do or say, that’s not respect at all. You two may have the same interests in life, but you are NOT the same person. But respect should always be there. It doesn’t matter if your friend makes more money than you or goes on vacations and buys a ton of fancy clothes…she shouldn’t rub that in your face or make you feel bad because you just don’t. Or you spend your money on other things that you see as more important to you. Not only that, if they are giving you condescending remarks about the things that you do or say, please know that they don’t have any respect for you. They may say, “I was only joking,” but there’s a good chance they were just being rude anyway.

6. They walk all over you.

Now this….I have been guilty of in the past. I had a friend that used to be the nicest person in the world and let people walk all over her ALL THE TIME. So, it wasn’t just me, but I took advantage of the fact that she never said “no.” Granted, I wasn’t the worst but if it came down to asking her for help, I knew she would be the one to do. Fast forward to a few years later and the mean friend she hung out with all the time (me) finally taught her not to let people do that and she doesn’t anymore. If she ever reads this, I am proud of you girl! haha. Anyway, I realized how much of a bad friend I was being, I stopped acting like that and I grew up! I mean, I was in high school so we all have some growing up to do in those years.

toxic Toxic Relationships: A Few Reasons To Get Rid of Them

 

With all that being said, someone is walking all over you and mistaking your kindness for weakness, drop them like a bad habit. I sure deserved it back in the day but I am thankful that my friend kept me around and we have been friends for over 10 years now. 🙂

Well, I think that’s about all I can think of at the moment. Spending time just going over these six reasons has helped me realize who I needed in my life and who I didn’t. Now, it’s your turn. Maybe a few names came up while you were reading….maybe you’re one of the lucky ones and you couldn’t think of anyone. That’s great! But for those of us with toxic people in our lives…don’t let them weigh you down. Assess the relationship and see if it’s going to make your life better or make it more stressful. I definitely like the less stress option. Good riddance!

 

toxic Toxic Relationships: A Few Reasons To Get Rid of Them

“Meternity Leave?” This is Maternity Leave

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Alright, there is a popular article that has pretty much gone viral all over Facebook and Twitter. I have seen it pop up on my feed quite a few times and I finally caved to read it.

The article on the New York Post titled, “I want all the perks of maternity leave — without having any kids ” by Anna Davies has stirred up quite a few blog posts and Facebook posts from moms all over, giving Miss Meghann Foye a piece of their mind. And well, being a mother myself and having finally read the darn thing, I decided to write about my feelings on this subject as well.

No, Meghann. I haven’t read your book. And there’s a very good chance that I won’t, mostly because I barely have time to read books as it is. Don’t get me wrong, I am not going to sit here and say that I have never been in your shoes before. I have. I was once one of those women that focused solely on career and friendships as opposed to thoughts of having a husband or kids in my future. Well, I thought about it but after numerous breakups and heartache, my life became more about me than about having a “we.”

I joined the military with every intent to put in my 20 years, retire, and live a fabulous life of being single and never having any other responsibilities besides the ones that are needed to take care of myself. And hey, that’s totally fine. More power to anyone who takes pride in what they do with their life. Countless jobs before, I thought it was unfair that mothers got to take time off of work. I mean, what did I know? I just saw these moms getting paid to take time away from work or even what you said in the article in the NYP, people got to leave work early to pick up the kids and having a friend who just suffered a breakup wasn’t a valid excuse. Been there. I was like, ‘Why the heck can’t I get out early because I live 30 minutes away and I want to go out with my friends…but I have to drive all the way back home then all the way back HERE just to do so.” We all worked together, downtown…it just made sense.

Then being in the military, I thought the same thing, at first. People got to get out of working a 13-14 shift because the daycares on base shut down after a certain time and you HAVE to pick up your children. People got time off and got away from the job that we were all sleepily working at on a Friday evening…still here…

But that’s the thing. You never know anything about anything unless you have been through it. This whole concept of “Meternity Leave” just makes no sense to me. That’s what vacations are for. If you work in the corporate world, you get paid time off and well, many people who don’t get paid time off for vacation, still get time off to themselves to do whatever they please.

Maternity leave is not a vacation. Maternity leave is a time of bonding with your child and having those precious moments with them. Because those first few months are some of the most important times that baby needs to be with their mother. And 3 months off? Not many people get that luxury. When I first had my child, I was given 6 weeks paid and I took an additional 2 weeks of my own time that I had saved up. And that’s in the military. Granted, we have recently changed things a bit and we now get those 12 weeks – paid, but that wasn’t the case before. And think about many people outside of the military who are ALLOWED to take those 12 weeks or more off…but many moms can’t afford to take it off because that time off isn’t even paid for! So, the entire time that the mother is supposed to be spending time with their child and learning how to be a mother, they are spending time stressing about the bills that need to be paid and how they are going to make up for the time lost at work.

Ask your friend who decided to leave her corporate job and start a new business after she had her baby. What is it exactly that made you want to do that? I am willing to bet that it wasn’t…”I had an awesome vacation from work and I wanted to continue it.” It is very likely the fact that she pushed a melon sized child out of her vagina and realized what was important in her life and what her focus needs to be on. And let me tell you…I highly doubt she had a “break.” Do you really think stay-at-home-moms ever get a day off? Wait, don’t even answer that. I am willing to bet I know which side of the spectrum you’re on when it comes to THAT conversation.

But here’s the main deal with this post. THIS is what maternity leave looks like. And if you’ve never had a child, you wouldn’t know.

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This beautiful moment after I had my first son is nothing short of amazing. Everything I felt was worth it. But what you don’t see here is that, I was terrified. Nurses and doctors didn’t speak to me. They acted like I wasn’t even there and they just had to get a melon out of me. What you don’t see is them pushing on my stomach and passing my placenta out and stitching me up. What you don’t see is the pain that I endured or the fact that because doctors wouldn’t talk to me, I had no idea what was going on.

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You may see me smiling here but what you don’t see is that I am cuddling with my child in the early morning, after hours of fighting him to nurse. I had to battle with him to try and eat for the first 6 days of his life. He had jaundice and wasn’t nursing at all and I didn’t understand why. So, laying down with him in bed was one of the only ways to get him to calm down.

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What you see here is a mom who stayed up all night with their crying baby. Trying to put him back to sleep after hours of trying. Many nights I fell asleep sitting up in my bed because my baby only wanted to sleep in that position.

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No, I am not squishing my child, but this is a great example of what you DON’T see moms go through during maternity leave. Finally, a satisfied baby. Fed and ready to pass out. But mama? Covered in milk from leaky boobs, stained shirts, nipples that are sore and completely cracked from learning how to nurse her baby for the first time, and breast pads to help from a milk waterfall from streaming down your clothes. As you can see, it doesn’t always help.

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There is always poop. I bet your “Meternity” never has a bunch of poop…or pee all over you. Or vomit for that matter, unless you’re covered in your own vomit from those margaritas with your girlfriends at the bar because you’re celebrating her newfound singleness.

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An exhausted mother. Sleeping with an ice pack in between her legs, wearing very large mesh underwear from the hospital, and feminine pads that resemble diapers. It’s the healing process. You don’t see that, do you? That’s because most women don’t post that all over their Facebook pages. You don’t see the heartache some moms go through when they look in the mirror and see their bloated stomach STILL looking like they are 6 months pregnant because not all moms lose weight while nursing. You don’t know the feeling of having a stitch stuck in your lady parts because it didn’t dissolve like it was supposed to. And you don’t know what it’s like to not be able to be intimate with your husband, 1. because you can’t and 2. because you have no energy.

There is no such thing as a “break” when it comes to maternity leave.

So, go ahead and suggest to everyone that you deserve your “ME” time. Because honestly, us moms never really get that “Meternity Leave.” Once you have a child, there is no such thing as ME time. It’s about your kids. It’s about family. And yes, that’s a choice that we, as parents made for our lives. But don’t you dare say you need paid time off to have time to yourself just because women have a baby and get their time off.

Also, I found an article that I found completely hilarious after I started writing this post. And for those of you that want “MEternity leave,” I say, go for it. As long as you abide by the rules of this post. And I absolutely love it.

So you want maternity leave without the kids? OK. Here’s how that should go.” by Elizabeth Bromstein

2016-05-10_12-53-47 "Meternity Leave?" This is Maternity Leave

Back To It’s Roots

What could I possibly be talking about here? “Back to it’s roots? Who’s roots?”

The blog is going back to it’s roots! I started out this whole blogging journey (this blog at least) in I believe August or September of 2014. I was pregnant and no longer doing the job I was doing before. I sat at a desk and I needed to spend time doing something that was creative and an outlet for me while going through my pregnancy.

After I had my son, I went through a few changes. Got back into working out and eating healthy and taking things head on. I got back into the BUSINESS of Beachbody and was really trying to get that going. The thing is, I am still doing all of those things but I am trying to keep my blog to my feelings – stories about my life. This is supposed to be an outlet. Not a business venture.

Sure, I will have links to my business accounts and what not on here but it’s nothing that isn’t going to be the sole focus of this blog. The focus is me. My life. And everything that comes with it. I can share stories about being a wife (heck, I am still new to this and it’s been a year and a half!), motherhood, transitioning from an everyday job to being a stay-at-home-mom (coming next year), and anything else that sparks my interest. This blog is meant for others to come and laugh at my mistakes and see that they aren’t alone.

Parenting is hard and I know it makes me feel better to know that I am not alone when I have a rough day and I just need to walk away. Also, it’s nice to read the funny things that happen to people and what could possibly happen when the “terrible twos” hit or when your “three-nager” is talking back. All of the things us moms look forward to, right? 😛

To celebrate bringing my blog back to where it’s supposed to be, I changed my domain name back to it’s original state. HeyDarlingLove. That’s what it’s meant to be and I am NOT changing it again. I made a new instagram account for this blog and I will post literally anything and everything I am feeling on this one. I have a personal account where I post everything in my daily life, my fitness account, and a babywearing one that I am apart of. But this one is different. I will post my blog posts on there and I will share bits and pieces of my blog, my thoughts, and fun quotes that I find. It’s a smash up of everything into one, I guess. A peek into my life. 😉 And my twitter account is back to normal.

This is the right move. I know this because it feels right. I have no doubts. Even if no one reads my posts, that’s totally fine with me! I am not very good at telling stories and typing how I should. I am not an English teacher and I don’t care to be. I am not always grammatically correct, I spell words wrong, and I don’t proofread. I just get out what I want to say and in a timely manner. I have a job and I am a mom and a wife. If I want to get my thoughts out, they just have to flow. You moms get it, don’t you?

Either way, this is going to be a fun continuance of a journey I started not too long ago and I am totally looking forward to getting back to getting to know my fellow bloggers and entertaining my friends with my…sarcasm and random rants that happen almost daily. Be ready for all of the awesome-ness headed your way. 😉

Welcome back,
HeyDarlingLove <3

?s=100&d=mm&r=g Back To It's Roots