The transition from being a mom who was in the Navy to now being a stay-at-home-mom, has been rough.
I am sure that any transition in life isn’t very easy. It wasn’t an easy transition from the civilian life into boot camp, but I made it through! Well, it’s been about nine months now since I had my last day of active duty status and it’s been interesting to say the least. If you haven’t noticed, I have only published four posts since August. Clearly, I have been busy!
While I love writing and want to continue to post great content, I just found myself writing drafts (37 to be exact), leave them unfinished and eventually work my way back to them. This post is actually one of those. It’s been easier for me to take a couple photos here and there and post them to my instagram account with some thoughts. But I have actually missed writing!
So, here I am writing again! But I would like to talk about why the transition has been hard on me. And why I am still in the transition.
I don’t have a schedule
Imagine that. If you read my post back in May (you can read it here) about what was next for me, I am pretty sure that I touched on this. I don’t have to wake up to anything but my kids. I don’t have to wake up to anything but my kids. That alarm has gone from an annoying blare to a toddler crashing into my bed yelling, “Mommy, I want to eat.” So, I get up and get the kid something to eat. And what happens after that is pretty much a mystery. I don’t NEED to be anywhere or do anything specific. And lucky for me, my husband really doesn’t care about what the house looks like as long as the kids are alive. I was just so used to the lifestyle where I was told to be somewhere and when. I was also told what to do and how to do it.
Keeping the house clean is harder
Oh, I know! You’re thinking, ‘how is it harder to keep the house clean when you’re home and can clean?” I would have thought the same thing. But in reality, it’s so much harder to clean the house when you have two children running amuck in the house! I clean one thing, go to clean something else, and the next thing I know, I find both of my kids in the shoe basket with the shoes on the floor. It wasn’t until these past few months that I really understood the quote:“Please excuse the mess, my children are making memories.”
I get pretty lonely sometimes
For someone who is basically a “loner” it was crazy to me to see how lonely I got. Before I got out of the service, we thought it would be a great idea to go down to one car. Financially, it is a great idea. Unfortunately for me, it just meant that I would be home all of the time. That didn’t seem to bug me for awhile until it got to the point where I didn’t speak to another adult (besides my husband) for weeks. And I mean in person, not just online. I also didn’t leave the house Monday-Friday! I never realized how often I actually talked to people when I was working. Even if it wasn’t a full on conversation, I was interacting with other ADULTS, daily. I never even talked to people that much, to be honest! But there was just enough conversation to get me through.
I had “me” time This is a big one. Right now, the only “me” time I really get is when I am laying awake at night scrolling through Facebook and looking at photos of my kids on my phone. I stay up late because that’s the only peace and quiet I get! And if I am being honest, most of my blog posts are written in those late hours in the dark. When I was working, even though I wasn’t always alone and I couldn’t just do whatever I wanted, I still had the freedom to have some time to myself. I could go to the gym after work and the kids would be at the sitter for just an hour longer. I ate lunch by myself and went to the bathroom by myself. That last part is a rare in the parent world!
I lost a part of myself
Do not. I repeat: do not get this part wrong. When I became a mother and held my baby in my arms for the first time, I knew this was who I was supposed to be. But I’ve been a mother for only 3 years now. I had been a sailor for 5 years of my life. I went from a badass who loaded bombs onto fighter jets to a civilian again. The Navy trained me for that job. No one trained me for motherhood. So sometimes, I am basically walking around in a daze unsure of what I am doing. As a Sailor, I had so much confidence. I knew what I was doing and could do it with my eyes closed. Now, my body has changed, I can’t lift like I used to, and I am no longer just taking care of myself. Honestly, I put myself last most of the time – which am pretty sure is what most of us mothers do. To solve that problem, I started working out again. I started going to the gym more often and realized that taking care of myself I every important. It really is. Along with that, I started my own business. Feeling like I am contributing to the household while still being home with my children definitely helped me “find myself” again.
Even though this post seems like a bunch of whining and complaining, it really isn’t.
My point is to really just talk about the struggles that many of us mothers face at any stage of the game. And it really goes to show you, that there is no certain time frame that we need to adjust to things. It’s just a way of life sometimes. We are all different, strong, and fully capable women. It can take us a year (like me) or a couple weeks to transition. We will figure it all out one way or another and it will be wonderful.
Yes! It is! Just in case you didn’t know it by the massive amount of women posting their photos today!
This day isn’t just about women posting photos. And it sure as hell isn’t just ONE day for women. Yes, it’s a day that we recognize women and their accomplishments and really, how amazing we are. But we don’t have to do that JUST today. But it’s nice to have days that remind us of these things.
For much of my life, I never felt empowered as a girl or young woman. Being female was never something that I saw myself being proud of. I am not quite sure exactly why. It could have something to do with never feeling enough. Constantly battling my own demons and dealing with the words from others left me feeling almost ashamed of who I was.
The thing is: I had every right to be proud. Being a woman is freaking awesome.
For all of you breastfeeding mamas out there, I decided I would write this post for you! If you’re anything like me and you’re always busy, whether it’s with work or the kids, you’re probably not going to take the time to make yourself some lactation cookies. I did make some for myself not long after my daughter was born, but let’s face it. I am not very good at doing a ton of stuff in the kitchen while my kids are awake and while they’re asleep, I’d rather be working out.
But these little nuggets of lactation GOLD are amazing.
I was so excited to be contacted by Milkful to receive a free box of these delicious treats to try out. How nice of them, right?!
For those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile have probably noticed that I am in the military. Well, that journey is going to come to an end very soon. And in the
military, there is a process where you have to go all over the base or everywhere in your command/unit to get signatures – check out. You have to literally check out of the military as if you were checking out of a hotel. And everyone you check out with will ask you this question:
“So, what’s next?”
There’s nothing wrong with asking that but that seems to be the question on everyone’s minds when you’re about to separate from the military. And I would always answer them politely, with the same, rehearsed response:
“I’m going to be a mom. Stay home with the kids. Go back to school in a year to finish my degree once we find out where we are going next (husband is remaining active duty ) and maybe pursue personal training.”
*Please note: This is a sensitive and real thing that I went through. It was not easy to write and some parts may make you think I am a horrible person…but if you continue reading, I hope that you will understand. Thank you. <3
Did you know that today is World Maternal Mental Health Day?
It is! It has been declared the first Wednesday in May and I’ve been given signs for a long time now, to share my story. Even more signs popped up in the past few days. It’s something I have never really shared with people and if I did it wasn’t in depth, but I wanted to share this in hopes of someone reading it will know that they’re not alone.
This here is a photo of a mother who absolutely loves and adores her child.
This is also a photo of a mother who had/has a hard time with this adorable, little babe.
And I don’t just mean, had a hard time adjusting to motherhood. That, alone, was a battle. But I went through stages of anger, fits, rage, crying, sadness, and hopelessness…and I didn’t know or understand why.
I love many and almost all things unicorn AND Lisa Frank-like! I’m a 90’s kid and Lisa Frank was all the rage when I was a kid. Trapper keepers and stickers were (and still are) my jam. I think the crazy unicorn phase we’re all going through is the same thing now.
Starbucks came out with this super cool Unicorn Frappucino, guys! And let me tell you – I was incredibly excited about it. Why? Because it’s purple-y and unicorn-y. Yeah, I’m making up words now.
But I’ve been at work the entire first day of it’s release and I was like,
Life is getting super hectic around here and not so routine.
Since going back to work at the end of February, there have been a ton of ups and downs when it comes to having a set schedule. I went back to work, had to take a class that involved learning about transitioning out of the military, going back on leave for a couple weeks, then back to work. For me, consistency AND routine is key to me staying sane.
Oh man, it’s going to be hard for me when I am no longer in the Navy and I become a stay-at-home mom!! There’s no way I’m going to be able to come up with some sort of routine while I have two little ones at home! I mean, I came face to face with that realization while I was on maternity leave for about 18 weeks. But I figured it was just because I had a new baby at home…I could be very wrong. It could simple be because I have two littles to take care of instead of one! Not only that, I have never been a SAHM, yet, so I know things will change once I realize I am not going back to work.
Yes, I finally have a post going up on a Tuesday (even though I prefer Mondays) instead of Thursday! Better to have my PWM posts in the beginning of the week and not the end.
Anyway, I was pretty excited about this spread for the week! No washi tape was used this time. Just craft paper and stickers. As I am sure you have noticed over the past few weeks, I am a huge fan of the floral prints. So, I was super excited to use the gorgeous rose craft paper I have in this week’s spread. It was just perfect for all of the pink I was going to use for the week.
As for most people who have kids and work (just assuming), we are going out this weekend. Friday to be exact. A friend of ours offered to watch the kids and it’s going to be nice. I put a bottle of wine and a wine glass on there but let’s be honest…we are going to go to the gym together without the kids! That’s the first part of our date! Hey, we take what we can get. We didn’t go on all too many dates after our son was born but now that we have two kids, it’s a little more difficult to get a sitter! Plus, little girl is still on the ta-tas. Read more
When you were 4 weeks old, I took a photo similar to this one in appreciation of my post partum tummy. The tummy that housed you and grew you into the tiny human that lays upon me today.
But as I had shared in a previous post this last week, this month hasn’t always been so good to me. I’ve experienced loss. And this tummy had the privilege to be home to a little one, even if only for a few weeks. This was a year ago. Although I experience great joy that I have you here with me, I do not forget the little one that came before. The little angel that looks over you now, that is a piece of you and of me. My temple is not damaged, no good, not worthy, or less womanly. It’s a shame that women have felt that it’s too “taboo” to speak about miscarriage, as I have before, but it’s not something to be ashamed of. And it doesn’t make you less of a woman or a mother. My little girl, someday you will become a woman and a mother. I pray you never experience the sadness that I have, but if you do, know that you are strong and you will survive. 💕
I’m currently stuck in this stage of not quite mid twenties but not yet thirty. What does that even entail these days? As I wrote in my Instagram post, a few years ago, I thought 30 was such a dirty word! It meant I was old! But the thing is, I still have so much life left ahead of me. And the best part about it is: I spent almost 28 years of my life trying to figure out who the heck I was, trying to find the confidence to be ME, and now I get to spend the rest of my life being me! Unapologetically!
My birthday isn’t something I ever look forward to. It’s another year I’ve been on this earth and another year I’ve gotten to enjoy the blessings in my life. But it wasn’t always like that. It seems that around my birthday, I’ve always dealt with some sort of pain or tragedy – a bad memory in my life.
Death of a family member
Loss of a pregnancy
Losing another pregnancy
One of those things really isn’t that big of a deal now, but it took a long time for me to get past a few of the others. And although I won’t get into the details on this post, I will say that I’ve come out stronger than I was before.
And 28 as I see it…is a year of a fabulous me. The mommy of two beautiful children, the wife of a handsome and intelligent man, the active duty service member becoming a stay at home mom. It’s a year of experience, a year of learning, and a year of adventure. Adventures in motherhood, stay at home mom life, not earning my own income anymore, and adventures with my family!
So, no. I am not in my mid twenties or in my thirties. I am not old. I am not young and naive…
But I am everything and everywhere I am supposed to be. That’s the truth about 28, as I see it.