The transition from being a mom who was in the Navy to now being a stay-at-home-mom, has been rough.
I am sure that any transition in life isn’t very easy. It wasn’t an easy transition from the civilian life into boot camp, but I made it through! Well, it’s been about nine months now since I had my last day of active duty status and it’s been interesting to say the least. If you haven’t noticed, I have only published four posts since August. Clearly, I have been busy!
While I love writing and want to continue to post great content, I just found myself writing drafts (37 to be exact), leave them unfinished and eventually work my way back to them. This post is actually one of those. It’s been easier for me to take a couple photos here and there and post them to my instagram account with some thoughts. But I have actually missed writing!
So, here I am writing again! But I would like to talk about why the transition has been hard on me. And why I am still in the transition.
I don’t have a schedule
Imagine that. If you read my post back in May (you can read it here) about what was next for me, I am pretty sure that I touched on this. I don’t have to wake up to anything but my kids. I don’t have to wake up to anything but my kids. That alarm has gone from an annoying blare to a toddler crashing into my bed yelling, “Mommy, I want to eat.” So, I get up and get the kid something to eat. And what happens after that is pretty much a mystery. I don’t NEED to be anywhere or do anything specific. And lucky for me, my husband really doesn’t care about what the house looks like as long as the kids are alive. I was just so used to the lifestyle where I was told to be somewhere and when. I was also told what to do and how to do it.
- Keeping the house clean is harder
Oh, I know! You’re thinking, ‘how is it harder to keep the house clean when you’re home and can clean?” I would have thought the same thing. But in reality, it’s so much harder to clean the house when you have two children running amuck in the house! I clean one thing, go to clean something else, and the next thing I know, I find both of my kids in the shoe basket with the shoes on the floor. It wasn’t until these past few months that I really understood the quote:“Please excuse the mess, my children are making memories.”
- I get pretty lonely sometimes
For someone who is basically a “loner” it was crazy to me to see how lonely I got. Before I got out of the service, we thought it would be a great idea to go down to one car. Financially, it is a great idea. Unfortunately for me, it just meant that I would be home all of the time. That didn’t seem to bug me for awhile until it got to the point where I didn’t speak to another adult (besides my husband) for weeks. And I mean in person, not just online. I also didn’t leave the house Monday-Friday! I never realized how often I actually talked to people when I was working. Even if it wasn’t a full on conversation, I was interacting with other ADULTS, daily. I never even talked to people that much, to be honest! But there was just enough conversation to get me through.
- I had “me” time
This is a big one. Right now, the only “me” time I really get is when I am laying awake at night scrolling through Facebook and looking at photos of my kids on my phone. I stay up late because that’s the only peace and quiet I get! And if I am being honest, most of my blog posts are written in those late hours in the dark. When I was working, even though I wasn’t always alone and I couldn’t just do whatever I wanted, I still had the freedom to have some time to myself. I could go to the gym after work and the kids would be at the sitter for just an hour longer. I ate lunch by myself and went to the bathroom by myself. That last part is a rare in the parent world!
- I lost a part of myself
Do not. I repeat: do not get this part wrong. When I became a mother and held my baby in my arms for the first time, I knew this was who I was supposed to be. But I’ve been a mother for only 3 years now. I had been a sailor for 5 years of my life. I went from a badass who loaded bombs onto fighter jets to a civilian again. The Navy trained me for that job. No one trained me for motherhood. So sometimes, I am basically walking around in a daze unsure of what I am doing. As a Sailor, I had so much confidence. I knew what I was doing and could do it with my eyes closed. Now, my body has changed, I can’t lift like I used to, and I am no longer just taking care of myself. Honestly, I put myself last most of the time – which am pretty sure is what most of us mothers do. To solve that problem, I started working out again. I started going to the gym more often and realized that taking care of myself I every important. It really is. Along with that, I started my own business. Feeling like I am contributing to the household while still being home with my children definitely helped me “find myself” again.
Even though this post seems like a bunch of whining and complaining, it really isn’t.
My point is to really just talk about the struggles that many of us mothers face at any stage of the game. And it really goes to show you, that there is no certain time frame that we need to adjust to things. It’s just a way of life sometimes. We are all different, strong, and fully capable women. It can take us a year (like me) or a couple weeks to transition. We will figure it all out one way or another and it will be wonderful.