The transition from being a mom who was in the Navy to now being a stay-at-home-mom, has been rough.
I am sure that any transition in life isn’t very easy. It wasn’t an easy transition from the civilian life into boot camp, but I made it through! Well, it’s been about nine months now since I had my last day of active duty status and it’s been interesting to say the least. If you haven’t noticed, I have only published four posts since August. Clearly, I have been busy!
While I love writing and want to continue to post great content, I just found myself writing drafts (37 to be exact), leave them unfinished and eventually work my way back to them. This post is actually one of those. It’s been easier for me to take a couple photos here and there and post them to my instagram account with some thoughts. But I have actually missed writing!
So, here I am writing again! But I would like to talk about why the transition has been hard on me. And why I am still in the transition.
I don’t have a schedule
Imagine that. If you read my post back in May (you can read it here) about what was next for me, I am pretty sure that I touched on this. I don’t have to wake up to anything but my kids. I don’t have to wake up to anything but my kids. That alarm has gone from an annoying blare to a toddler crashing into my bed yelling, “Mommy, I want to eat.” So, I get up and get the kid something to eat. And what happens after that is pretty much a mystery. I don’t NEED to be anywhere or do anything specific. And lucky for me, my husband really doesn’t care about what the house looks like as long as the kids are alive. I was just so used to the lifestyle where I was told to be somewhere and when. I was also told what to do and how to do it.
Keeping the house clean is harder
Oh, I know! You’re thinking, ‘how is it harder to keep the house clean when you’re home and can clean?” I would have thought the same thing. But in reality, it’s so much harder to clean the house when you have two children running amuck in the house! I clean one thing, go to clean something else, and the next thing I know, I find both of my kids in the shoe basket with the shoes on the floor. It wasn’t until these past few months that I really understood the quote:“Please excuse the mess, my children are making memories.”
I get pretty lonely sometimes
For someone who is basically a “loner” it was crazy to me to see how lonely I got. Before I got out of the service, we thought it would be a great idea to go down to one car. Financially, it is a great idea. Unfortunately for me, it just meant that I would be home all of the time. That didn’t seem to bug me for awhile until it got to the point where I didn’t speak to another adult (besides my husband) for weeks. And I mean in person, not just online. I also didn’t leave the house Monday-Friday! I never realized how often I actually talked to people when I was working. Even if it wasn’t a full on conversation, I was interacting with other ADULTS, daily. I never even talked to people that much, to be honest! But there was just enough conversation to get me through.
I had “me” time This is a big one. Right now, the only “me” time I really get is when I am laying awake at night scrolling through Facebook and looking at photos of my kids on my phone. I stay up late because that’s the only peace and quiet I get! And if I am being honest, most of my blog posts are written in those late hours in the dark. When I was working, even though I wasn’t always alone and I couldn’t just do whatever I wanted, I still had the freedom to have some time to myself. I could go to the gym after work and the kids would be at the sitter for just an hour longer. I ate lunch by myself and went to the bathroom by myself. That last part is a rare in the parent world!
I lost a part of myself
Do not. I repeat: do not get this part wrong. When I became a mother and held my baby in my arms for the first time, I knew this was who I was supposed to be. But I’ve been a mother for only 3 years now. I had been a sailor for 5 years of my life. I went from a badass who loaded bombs onto fighter jets to a civilian again. The Navy trained me for that job. No one trained me for motherhood. So sometimes, I am basically walking around in a daze unsure of what I am doing. As a Sailor, I had so much confidence. I knew what I was doing and could do it with my eyes closed. Now, my body has changed, I can’t lift like I used to, and I am no longer just taking care of myself. Honestly, I put myself last most of the time – which am pretty sure is what most of us mothers do. To solve that problem, I started working out again. I started going to the gym more often and realized that taking care of myself I every important. It really is. Along with that, I started my own business. Feeling like I am contributing to the household while still being home with my children definitely helped me “find myself” again.
Even though this post seems like a bunch of whining and complaining, it really isn’t.
My point is to really just talk about the struggles that many of us mothers face at any stage of the game. And it really goes to show you, that there is no certain time frame that we need to adjust to things. It’s just a way of life sometimes. We are all different, strong, and fully capable women. It can take us a year (like me) or a couple weeks to transition. We will figure it all out one way or another and it will be wonderful.
Yes! It is! Just in case you didn’t know it by the massive amount of women posting their photos today!
This day isn’t just about women posting photos. And it sure as hell isn’t just ONE day for women. Yes, it’s a day that we recognize women and their accomplishments and really, how amazing we are. But we don’t have to do that JUST today. But it’s nice to have days that remind us of these things.
For much of my life, I never felt empowered as a girl or young woman. Being female was never something that I saw myself being proud of. I am not quite sure exactly why. It could have something to do with never feeling enough. Constantly battling my own demons and dealing with the words from others left me feeling almost ashamed of who I was.
The thing is: I had every right to be proud. Being a woman is freaking awesome.
For those of you that may not know, I recently started a new journey to become an Agnes & Dora Independent Representative!
There are many reasons WHY I chose to do this and why I chose Agnes & Dora out of many companies I could’ve chosen. I will write about that at a later time but one of the main reasons I fell in love with Agnes & Dora is how breastfeeding friendly the clothing is!
So, I figured this would be a good time to write about it! I want to be able to share just a few of the fabulous pieces that Agnes & Dora has that are incredibly breastfeeding friendly! This may be a fairly short post but I hope it helps any mamas who are deciding if it’s worth it because of the nursing aspect!
I don’t mean by clicking on the links or the ads that pop up on Instagram while you’re scrolling through your feed in the middle of the night. I mean, actually shopping someone’s “closet” on Instagram!
This has gotten pretty popular lately and I must say, I have really become quite the fan. For me, I was always worried about it being a scam. So, I followed a few accounts and just watched for awhile. I saw that people really liked shopping at a few of these shops and I figured I’d give it a shot.
I happened to stumble upon Blush & Cotton Shop and it was basically love at first sight. She had some fabulous pieces, some that were gently used and quite a few that were new with tags! Now, if anyone is familiar with “thrifting” you’re probably
hitting up the closest Goodwill or secondhand store to try stuff on. You can inspect the items you’re buying and decide if you want to get it.
Well, that was an issue for me. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get anything (used) online if I couldn’t check it over. I also couldn’t try it on. I tend to not buy clothes online unless I already know what my size is. With those two issues standing in my way, Luana (the owner of the shop) would describe everything that was going on with the piece. And with Instagram’s new multiple photos feature, she is able to show more photos per item. On top of that, she would even DM (direct message) me with try ons so I could see how the clothes would actually lay. Now, it was kind of weird at first to ask her to try something on for me but it worked out so well. I have fit in everything she’s sent my way. Even if we are not the exact same size in something, it’s still great to see how something would lay or the length of something as opposed to seeing it on a mannequin or a hanger.
For all of you breastfeeding mamas out there, I decided I would write this post for you! If you’re anything like me and you’re always busy, whether it’s with work or the kids, you’re probably not going to take the time to make yourself some lactation cookies. I did make some for myself not long after my daughter was born, but let’s face it. I am not very good at doing a ton of stuff in the kitchen while my kids are awake and while they’re asleep, I’d rather be working out.
But these little nuggets of lactation GOLD are amazing.
I was so excited to be contacted by Milkful to receive a free box of these delicious treats to try out. How nice of them, right?!
Have you all seen those crochet tops? You can probably get a few of them on Etsy or something. Crochet has definitely come a long way from blankets and scarves. Oh wait, that’s just me…that’s allI know how to crochet.
Well, a friend of mine actually started crocheting a few of these babies and I had been wanting to get some! They are so cute and probably something I wouldn’t normally wear but I’ve been trying to get out of my comfort zone a little bit, every now and then. So, when I posted on my Facebook, asking if anyone wanted to work together on a collab, I was secretly hoping Erin would message me.
Sure enough, she did!
Erin is a very talented and creative gal. Erin of Seeby Designs makes all of these adorable pieces and gets them out pretty quickly as well! She started with hats (which I had actually ordered from her) and started doing different variations (like ones with ears!). Then she went onto different kinds of scarves then now bralettes! I love all of her work and I am definitely all for spreading the word!
For those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile have probably noticed that I am in the military. Well, that journey is going to come to an end very soon. And in the
military, there is a process where you have to go all over the base or everywhere in your command/unit to get signatures – check out. You have to literally check out of the military as if you were checking out of a hotel. And everyone you check out with will ask you this question:
“So, what’s next?”
There’s nothing wrong with asking that but that seems to be the question on everyone’s minds when you’re about to separate from the military. And I would always answer them politely, with the same, rehearsed response:
“I’m going to be a mom. Stay home with the kids. Go back to school in a year to finish my degree once we find out where we are going next (husband is remaining active duty ) and maybe pursue personal training.”
*Please note: This is a sensitive and real thing that I went through. It was not easy to write and some parts may make you think I am a horrible person…but if you continue reading, I hope that you will understand. Thank you. <3
Did you know that today is World Maternal Mental Health Day?
It is! It has been declared the first Wednesday in May and I’ve been given signs for a long time now, to share my story. Even more signs popped up in the past few days. It’s something I have never really shared with people and if I did it wasn’t in depth, but I wanted to share this in hopes of someone reading it will know that they’re not alone.
This here is a photo of a mother who absolutely loves and adores her child.
This is also a photo of a mother who had/has a hard time with this adorable, little babe.
And I don’t just mean, had a hard time adjusting to motherhood. That, alone, was a battle. But I went through stages of anger, fits, rage, crying, sadness, and hopelessness…and I didn’t know or understand why.
I love many and almost all things unicorn AND Lisa Frank-like! I’m a 90’s kid and Lisa Frank was all the rage when I was a kid. Trapper keepers and stickers were (and still are) my jam. I think the crazy unicorn phase we’re all going through is the same thing now.
Starbucks came out with this super cool Unicorn Frappucino, guys! And let me tell you – I was incredibly excited about it. Why? Because it’s purple-y and unicorn-y. Yeah, I’m making up words now.
But I’ve been at work the entire first day of it’s release and I was like,